From My Heart



Our Own

As a human being, there are times that I feel there are others who get things easier than I do. Like having a life without debts, not needing to work hard but still have roof over their heads, could travel overseas, have time to do all sorts of things in their own sweet time, still have people loving them although they couldn’t care less about taking care of feelings of others, gets everything they wanted so easily. Yes, there are people like that in this world, believe it or not!
But recently someone said something that made me realize how lucky I am, and that I should be thankful, very very thankful.
Like when we went for umrah, I managed to go to the masjid every single day. I missed a few prayers, yes, but most of the time, I got to be there. I did not fall sick at all until I came home, so I managed to do all sorts of things that I planned to do, mainly in the masjid.

And when I came back, especially recently, I always had the chance to perform my prayers in the masjid. Not everyday, but more often than I did before. There are also some prayers that I rarely did before but I do more lately.
And I am busy. It is indeed a blessing, because I’m busy being productive, alhamdulillah. I do look back at times and think “man, I should have done this five years ago!” but then hey, at least I’m doing this now! I have this four-books-per-month resolution (which includes one journal article per week), so far I’m quite happy with my progress although the target is only nearly achieved. It then made me able to think clearer at work, have better memory, speak less and work more efficiently. I now bring a book everywhere I go.

I wake up earlier these days, alhamdulillah.
And there are other joys in life that we could only be thankful for if we reflect in them. Like my mom is near, I’m close to my siblings, I love to read, I love to travel, having blood pressure of 106/60mmHg at age 35,  needing to smile to everyone at work, giving all my heart when I’m at work so I feel satisfied when I come home, being able to apply so many of the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad SAW from the moment I step into the hospital until the time I get home, still have time to work out after work and on weekends, could spend some money for my family, could learn so many things about life when I’m at work that others could only dream about…
The list goes on and on and on…
My intention is not to be arrogant or thinking that God loves me more than anyone. Astaghfirullahal’adzim it is not like that.

I was just…well…counting my blessings, and I need to do that a lot, so I could do sujood and thank Allah for putting that thankfulness in me.

Now and Infinity

When you think about infinity.Your time in this world is too short, just too short.

It is easier to forgive everyone everyday.
There I was in the morning, witnessing the dilemma of a lady, perhaps only a few years older than myself, facing a daunting task of taking care of her mother who had a stroke. The daunting task that she may need to face alone, because father is old too, and the rest of the siblings just watching. Her eyes teared up when she spoke about taking unpaid leave for the time being, to care for her mother.
She’s not the only one feeling that way.

I know many who have been in her position before. 
On my way back I thought of her. That feeling of being alone, facing the responsibilities alone, while the rest stood watching without understanding the need to help. Such a familiar feeling, I felt like just going back to the ward to tell her, “congratulations”.
Yes, there are times when we feel hurt and say it out. But by saying it out, we take the blame for hurting others while actually we were the ones hurt at the first place. 
But it is ok.

Take care of your parents anyway, even if no one in this world offered to help.

Forgive others anyway. Because this precious life is too short for grudges, for anger, for complexities.


Do you know that once you step foot in jannah, you will forget that you have ever sufferred anything at all in this world?

Should that not be a source of motivation for all of us to go on just a little bit more?


When you spend your days telling people that their parent have passed away, listening to their cries and wails, it is only natural for you to expect others to learn the same lessons. 

But often they don’t, because they don’t know how those wails and cries sound like. 


Talk about praying for ease.

It was still early in the evening, a patient just passed away, and another patient became short of breath suddenly.

I saw that she’s a young girl, was very restless and breathless. She needs intubation.

I was worried, and while the nurses pushed her to the acute cubicle, I wondered how I was going to tube a young, strong and agitated girl. 

Right away, the anaesthetic doctor came into the ward, looking for her.

So the other doctor immediately helped me intubate the young girl, and soon after, patient was sent to the ICU.

That night I slept a solid 4 hours, despite having a rough start.
When I asked from Allah that morning, for ease of performing my job, I pictured that help would come when I really needed it.
So I really had my affairs settled easily. Even better for the patients.
Yes. Prayers are answered. Some immediately, but for some, you need to wait patiently. Like I said, what is a day in this life if we compare to infinity.


Have you ever trained yourself to become a person with positive attitude, good character, kinder person, and failed miserably everytime you face a bigger test? Would you give up?
Or would you keep on telling yourself the truth, and hope that one day you would embody the messages and you will become the kinder, nicer person who is very patient?
Every single whisper of “do your best”, every single reminder for yourself to not destroy your efforts, everytime you tell yourself to keep on trying, is worth doing. If you feel like you have failed, that your efforts are not going anywhere, remind yourself that you need to keep on trying. Because one day, the reminders will come before you make a mistake, they will come when you feel so down, they will come when you need them the most, and will make the most sense.

Terima Kasih, Malaysia

Terima Kasih, Malaysia
Saya nak ucapkan terima kasih kepada pemandu yang berhenti di laluan pejalan kaki apabila ada orang nak melintas.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang memandu perlahan dan berhati-hati dalam kawasan hospital.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang tunggu orang lain keluar daripada lif sebelum memasukinya.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang tidak merokok di tempat awam.

Terima kasih kepada pelanggan yang sentiasa bersopan santun ketika berurus iaga.

Terima kasih juga kepada juruwang dan penjaga kedai yang sentiasa tersenyum.

Terima kasih kepada peniaga yang jujur.

Terima kasih kepada jururawat di hospital yang menukarkan lampin orang sakit walaupun itu bukan tugas hakiki mereka.

Terima kasih kepada penolong pegawai perubatan yang menjalankan tugas dengan ceria.

Terima kasih kepada pesakit-pesakit yang memberitahu tentang ketidakpuasan hati mereka kepada orang yang bertanggungjawab, bukan menyebarkan gambar-gambar dan kata-kata kesat di media sosial.

Terima kasih kepada penunggang motosikal yang bersabar, tidak ‘honk’ kereta yang hanya pasang signal.

Terima kasih kepada pemandu kereta yang tahu pasang signal apabila nak tukar lorong.

Terima kasih kepada pemandu-pemandu kereta yang mengekalkan jarak yang selamat antara kereta masing-masing.

Terima kasih kepada tukang jahit yang menjahit pakaian ikut permintaan pelanggan, bukan ikut citarasa diri sendiri yang jauh berbeza.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang tidak membuang sampah merata-rata.

Terima kasih sebab membenarkan anak supaya diberi suntikan vaccine.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang tidak menyebarkan perkara-perkara bohong dan kata-kata kesat di media sosial.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang bertanya kepada yang pakar apabila terdapat kemusykilan.

Tahniah kepada mereka yang pakar dan mengekalkan rasa hormat orang lain, dan tidak menyebabkan orang lari daripada mereka.

Terima kasih kepada mana-mana pemimpin yang jujur dan amanah – sesuatu yang sangatlah jarang kita jumpa pada zaman ini, walau apa parti politik mereka sekalipun.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang hidup sederhana walaupun mampu berlebih-lebihan, kerana mereka telah menjaga alam sekitar daripada diratah ketamakan.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang tidak buruk sangka kepada orang lain.

Terima kasih kerana menjadi ibu/bapa mertua yang bersabar dengan kerenah menantu yang baru belajar nak jadi isteri/suami, dan tidak mengata2 di belakang, sebaliknya menegur di depan dengan baik.

Terima kasih kepada keluarga mertua yang menerima menantu seperti anak/adik beradik sendiri.

Terima kasih kepada menantu yang ceria dan rajin.

Tahniah kepada manusia yang bersopan-santun dan lemah lembut.

Terima kasih kerana hanya bercakap yang baik tentang orang yang telah meninggal dunia.

Terima kasih kerana berdiam diri apabila tidak mempunyai apa-apa yang baik untuk dikatakan.
Terima kasih atas kebaikan kalian.
Mari jadikan negara kita tempat yang lebih ceria dan memudahkan hidup orang lain.

Mahukah Kamu, Aku Tunjukkan?

Mahukah kamu, aku tunjukkan suatu tempat? 

Di sana ada 

Beratus juta pohon rendang

Tidak jemu mata memandang

Dari satu rimbunan ke satu rimbunan

Kita berjalan

Singgah menikmati buah-buahan

Yang enaknya cuma akan bertambah
Kaki melangkah 

Rumput hijau meliputi segenap permukaan

Tak pernah lelah kita dalam perjalanan

Marilah kamu aku tunjukkan

Taman-taman tempat bersuka ria

Teduhan yang redup lagi selesa

Tempat berehat, melayari masa

Juadah, minuman, semua tersedia

Senyuman di bibir



Kerana sayang, aku kenalkan kamu

Suatu singgahsana mewah

Sungai-sungai mengalir di bawah



Tiada luka di hati

Tiada dendam berapi

Yang ada itu hajat yang dipenuhi

Harapan yang pasti terjadi

Seperti yang dijanji

Ayuh kita simpankan

Syurga ketenangan di hati

Yang bermula seawal pagi

Saat mata yang lain tertutup lagi

Bangkitlah kita

Menarik nafas syukur, segar, aman

Memuji Pencipta alam semesta

Tunduk kepada kekuasaan-Nya

Memohon kepada keampunan-Nya

Meminta daripada kekayaan-Nya


Hati akan tenang bagai di syurga

Hari mendatang terjanji bahagia

Segala pintu mudah terbuka

Jalan sukar dapat diduga

Kita bawa syurga itu 

Di atas dunia

Memancar senyuman kepada yang duka

Menghulur tangan kepada yang terluka

Memberi kata harapan penguat tenaga

Sejujur hati

Seikhlas jiwa

Mahukah kamu aku tunjukkan, suatu kehidupan?

Penuh ketenangan

Penuh pengharapan

Penuh keredhaan

Kanser Tahap 4

“Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia kerugian.”

Saya telah bekerja selama hampir empat tahun di wad pesakit kanser tahap 4, yang mana hampir semuanya meninggal dunia dalam masa setahun. Saya telah berjumpa dengan sekurang-kurangnya 400 orang pesakit sepanjang bekerja di wad tersebut, dan kisah-kisah mereka di penghujung hayat telah banyak mengajar saya tentang erti kehidupan.

Memang kebanyakan doktor menyangka bahawa menguruskan pesakit-pesakit yang sudah hampir pasti akan meninggal dunia membuatkan doktor/jururawat sentiasa berasa sedih. Tetapi bagi kami, hidup kami lebih bermakna kerana kami memahami bahawa setiap saat di dunia ini amat berharga dan perlu disyukuri.

Kanser tahap 4 adalah waktu di mana seluruh keluarga harus bersatu. Inilah masanya untuk merapatkan kembali hubungan yang renggang atau terputus dalam keluarga.

Anak-anak perlu berusaha mengambil hati ibu bapa yang telah sakit. Walaupun mungkin ibu atau bapa telah melakukan sesuatu kesilapan pada masa lampau yg membuatkan anak tawar hati, harus diingat, hubungan itu kekal sehingga hari kemudian. Ibu tetap ibu, bapa tetap bapa. Walau apa pun caranya, anak-anak wajib berbaik dengan ibu bapa semasa hayat mereka.

Kanser tahap 4 adalah waktu yang tinggal untuk anak-anak meraih kasih sayang ibu bapa dan keredhaan Allah SWT. Inilah waktu yang tinggal untuk menyuapkan ibu bapa makan, memandikan mereka, mencuci najis dan menukarkan lampin, membantu mereka solat, bercakap yang baik-baik sambil memberi perangsang kepada mereka. Sekiranya ibu bapa yang sakit berada di hospital, belajarlah untuk menukar lampin mereka sendiri, memandikan mereka sendiri, bukan menunggu jururawat yang melakukan semuanya. Ya, mereka boleh membantu, tetapi tanggungjawab hakiki masih terletak di bahu anak-anak.

Kami telah menyaksikan terlalu ramai anak-anak merasakan penyesalan yang tidak mungkin berpenghujung. Mereka ini selalunya terdiri daripada golongan yang tidak pernah menjenguk ibu bapa semasa sihat, tidak pernah membantu ketika sakit, menyimpan dendam terhadap ibu bapa sendiri, tidak bercakap dengan baik kepada ibu bapa. Mereka akan datang pada saat-saat akhir, di mana ibu bapa tidak lagi mampu bercakap, mendengar atau membuka mata. Mereka akan memarahi adik-beradik lain, atau doktor/jururawat, menuduh yang bukan-bukan, sedangkan mereka tidak mengambil peluang untuk berbaik-baik dengan ibu bapa ketika sihat.

Kanser tahap 4 juga adalah masa untuk adik-beradik berbaik-baik. Semuanya perlu mengambil giliran untuk menjaga ibu bapa yang sakit, bukan hanya meninggalkan tugas itu kepada surirumah atau yg tidak bekerja sepenuh masa.

Kami dapati, orang yang redha dengan pemergian ibu bapa adalah anak-anak yang sering berada di sisi ibu bapa semasa hayat mereka. Hidup mereka lebih tenang tanpa penyesalan.

Kanser tahap 4 juga adalah waktu yang paling penting untuk urusan surat-surat dan dokumen tentang harta. Semua harta seperti tanah dan rumah perlu dinamakan dengan tepat, dijelaskan nama pemiliknya, dikira hutangnya. Sesudah seseorang itu meninggal dunia, tidak ada lagi peluang untuk menjelaskan pemilikan tanah, nama siapa, siapa yang bayar. Memang ini hal duniawi tetapi terlalu banyak kes yang tidak selesai kerana ketiadaan rekod. Akhirnya ramai yang tidak mendapat hak, ramai juga yang makan hak orang lain. Semuanya akan ditanya di akhirat kelak.

Berbincang tentang harta peninggalan mungkin nampak seperti taboo, nampak tidak patut, tetapi kita perlu berpijak di bumi yang nyata. Kematian itu sesuatu yang pasti, meskipun bukan kerana kanser. Pengurusan harta adalah sesuatu yang serius di sisi Allah, maka perlu diselesaikan dengan sebaiknya.

Kanser tahap 4 bukan masa untuk duduk di sisi ibu sambil mata menghadap smartphone. Bukan juga masa menonton TV. Masa untuk bekerja keras membahagiakan ibu dan bapa. Menunjukkan kasih sayang selagi mereka ada. Tatap wajah mereka. Simpan dalam ingatan. Bukan waktu selfie berderet-deret. Berapa ratus gambar pun tak akan sama dengan perasaan menatap mata ibu bapa yang penuh kasih sayang semasa mereka hidup.

Kanser tahap 4 adalah masa untuk keluarga, peluang untuk membuang yang keruh. Air dicincang tak akan putus. Allah telah memerintahkan manusia untuk berbakti kepada ibu bapa, Allah juga telah menjanjikan kebahagiaan kepada mereka yang menurut perintah-Nya dengan penuh kesabaran. Setelah menyaksikan beratus-ratus pesakit meninggalkan kami, beratus-ratus keluarga yang ditinggalkan, kami dapat melihat dengan mata sendiri bahawa janji Allah adalah sentiasa benar.

Ada juga persitiwa, yang mana ibu yang sakit tidak memaafkan anak, anak juga masih marahkan ibu. Ibu meninggal dunia bukan dalam keadaan tenang, anak yang ditinggalkan juga terus hidup dalam kemarahan.

Kanser tahap 4. Terlalu banyak pengajaran.

Dekatilah ibu bapa. Berbaiklah dengan mereka. Mungkin suatu masa dahulu mereka tersilap, mungkin tindakan mereka tidak rasional. Berbaiklah sebelum sesalan melanda. Meskipun mereka kelihatan masih marah, dekatilah mereka walau apa pun caranya. Dalan hati mereka pasti masih ada kasih sayang.

Hidup kita tidak panjang. Tidak perlu dendam, tidak perlu sesalan.


Have Faith, I Will

I hoped.

And then not.

And hoped again.

And then decided not to.

But as the train moved into London, my heart was filled with hopes and dreams.

My dear,

We’ve been through this for so many years, it is unbelievable. Well, at least I have. We’ve been close, and then we fell apart, but never too far. I thought I was fine, I was ok without hoping anymore. I thought I did not care. But I do. I do so much. I jumped with every moment of pain that you went through. I cared not only about you, and you know that very well.

My dear,

That big smile of yours meant so much to me, and it still does. It is amazing how you could still make me smile after all this while, for that I am forever grateful.

My dear,

You know very well that I have you in my prayers. You and I know that God will answer me in His own special way, His own timely schedule. You and I understand that His answers will only be good. I know, even if I don’t have hope on you, I have hopes on Him, to bring me everywhere I should be, and to give you and me the eternal happiness. 

I don’t know why we are where we are, I don’t know why we are doing what we’re doing, I don’t know why there is too much struggle to go through, at least on my side. All I could do is to look into myself; maybe He wanted more from me, He expected better, much much better from me, for perhaps I have not lived up to my potential. 

Until then.

Hold on, I would.

Keep on trying, I should.

Have faith, I will. 


Dragging Your Legs

And this.Recently a lot of dark thoughts went into my head. Perhaps it’s the exams, perhaps it’s for seeing ‘ghosts’ too often. But it has become a habit, to turn those dark thoughts into something better. I have to admit though, at times we just want to stay there and go with those negative feelings. 

So those enlightening thoughts would almost grudgingly appear, dragging its legs. It’s like saying, “hey, you negative thoughts, go away,” in a lazy tone.

It’s like saying, “please smile,” without smiling.

But it is worth doing. Grudgingly, dragging our legs, without smiling, whatever it is. Just force those positive thoughts in, and soon enough the negative ones will have to go away!

My House Officers

I feel like telling stories tonight.

It’s been seven years since I finished housemanship. I did not have house officers (HOs) to help me out in more than half of that seven years. I know some people are never happy with their HOs, some even call them names. But I have to admit, I had fun working with them. Not all, but many.

As with other people, there are HOs more memorable than others.
I’m not talking about work, at least in most of these stories.

The names and details of the stories were changed to protect privacy.

* * *
It was past midnight. I was exhausted running between two wards and a high dependency unit. The HO saw me and had just eaten what was probably her dinner.
“Boss, come drink this watermelon juice,” she said, showing me an unopened bag of cold red juice.
“Thanks, but it’s ok, I’ll get my own drinks,” I told her.
“Please take it. I bought extra,” she said.
So I did, with a lot of thanks.
* * *
I was on call, it was around 6.30am, two patients in different wards needed intubation, so I had to run between the two wards (with the help of anaesthetic colleagues, of course). I walked into the ward again, and there she was, running towards me.
“Boss! Boss! Boss! Boss! Boss!!!” she called.
I was too tired, I only raised my eyebrows.
“The patient we intubated, her heart stopped and I did CPR on her! After 10 minutes she revived!”
I walked faster, I was impressed.

* * *

Both of us rotated to different departments. One day she referred a case to me, so I went to her ward. Before I met her, I bumped into another HO, who immediately brightened up (from a flustered appearence), saying, “Oh! Medical people! Nice to see you!”

I was a little surprised, but I smiled and walked away.

She came to see me when I was done seeing the patient.
“It’s not as nice here as it is in medical..” she said with a pout.
“Why would you say that? Weren’t you much busier back then?” I asked.
“Well, over here the gap between us and the seniors is so distant. They wouldn’t sit and chat with us the way you did with us all this while,” she complained.
I could not find any words for consolation. So we spoke about other things.

* * *

We did not meet each other for many months. By the time I met her again, she’s a senior HO finishing her final posting. She put on a lot of make up for my liking; she doesn’t need it because she’s a pretty girl already.

“Boss, have you found a boyfriend yet?” she asked.
“No. What about you?”
“Me neither..I don’t know..” she sighed.

That was the last time I spoke to her. I had in mind that I wanted to suggest maybe she could put less makeup because she’s a nice, sweet girl, but I never met her again.

The last I heard, she married a cardiologist.
A cardiologist who doesn’t like even a single layer of powder.
“Clowns,” he used to say.
I knew about it because he’s my ex.

Oh well.
Life goes on.
* * *
I was having lunch with my colleagues after our teaching session one Wednesday afternoon. I was on call. My phone rang.

“Hello, is this Miss Maria?” the male voice asked.
“Hi. I’m from Pizza **t. I’m sending you some pizzas,” he said.
“But I did not order any,” I told him.
“I know. Someone ordered this for you,” he said convincingly.
I wondered who that person would be, and the fact that I have almost finished my food.
“Boss, this is Abu. Dr Abu. HO from your previous ward,” said the “pizza boy”. He then chuckled.
I laughed.
“I need to refer a patient to you…” he went on.

Oh dear…and he dared to do this!!

* * *
I was doing some paperwork on the nursing counter when Abu came and sat in front of me.
“Boss, may I ask you something?” he asked.
I had a feeling that it is not about work. “What is it?” I asked.
“Are you married?” he asked.
“No,” I answered.
“Oh. Then I won’t ask you my second question.”
I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. He got scared, so he blurted out, “It wasn’t me. Syarifah asked me to ask you.”
I was not convinced.
“She asked me to ask you whether you’re pregnant,” he said, almost cowering.
So I laughed. I laughed at him, and at the question.
“You know, you’re not the first person to ask me this question within this week,” I told him.

* * *
A few days ago, my nurse asked me, “Weren’t you pregnant 8 months ago?”
Again, I laughed. “I don’t even have a husband.”
My HO in front of me showed a surprised look.
“Don’t worry. This is not the first time. I don’t know what is it about me, my BMI is good. Maybe I glow, or maybe I look too tired all the time,” I said to them.
“Why are you not married yet? Are you choo…” he blurted out but stopped in his track.
I laughed again. “What were you going to say? Choosy? Well, I need to be choosy, right?”
He just smiled.
“I had a bad experience. That’s all,” I told them, got up and left.

* * *
I was upset about the difficulty of obtaining clinic appointments for our patients. Our specialist pushed for it and I fully understood her concerns. It was 4pm. In the end she asked this HO to get the appointment himself from the clinic counter.
He went there, did not manage to get the staff to help, and called me from there. All I told him was how upset I was about the whole system.

It took him a while to get back to the ward (our hospital is huge).

When he reappeared, he said, “I got it for you anyway, boss. You sounded upset so I tried to get the appointment date again. I knocked the locked clinic door because I knew they were in. I waited and knocked and waited and knocked. In the end they opened the door and set the appointment. Here you are.”

Oh, thank you…!!!

* * *

I was on the phone with my former boss on the hospital corridors one evening. A female HO who worked with me a year ago walked by.

She showed a big smile, came closer and gave me a hug, and walked away.

That felt good.
* * *

There was a HO who, when he smiled, he could “light up this whole town.”
When I heard him speak, I knew he could sing very well. Turned out I was right.
When I looked at him back then, I knew he’s going to be a physician. He’s currently on his way there.
I had a feeling he’d want to be a cardiologist. Turns out he really does.

I pray for the best for him.
* * *

I don’t like to tell stories beginning with “When I was a house officer…” because it annoys a lot of people, and I don’t think it’s fair.

But today I want to begin some sentences with that.

When I was a HO, I had nice, cool and super cool seniors who taught me a lot of stuff.

When I was a HO, we would sometimes have tea with our senior or the surgeon and talk about life.

When I was a HO, I spent the nights in OT with my senior, sometimes the whole night, sometimes only partially. One of them would ask for nice songs to be played from the radio while operating. He never brought along his own CDs though.

So by the end of that posting, I compiled a list of songs that I thought he might like, and put them in a CD. However it seemed that the CD player could not read it.

When I was a HO, I extended my stay in surgical posting because I had so much fun.
During that rotation, I had to go for an emergency surgery, so I was on medical leave for two weeks, cutting my posting short.
One day the department clerk called me and said it’s ok to leave as scheduled because I did not take those days off for fun.
I told her, I want that two weeks back.
So I stayed an extra two weeks.

I would have been a surgeon now if I could stand cold temperatures in long duration. But obviously I’m not.

When I was a HO, I missed my brother’s birthday dinner, because we finished work at 10pm on that particular day.

* * *
This song was played on radios a lot when I have just started working: Aku Bukan Milikmu by Rossa. It was on air when my consultant was giving me a briefing, while we were in the operation theatre, in the ward while we were doing our paperwork, at night in the cold and otherwise quiet OT.
This song marked the beginning of my working life.

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun tak pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku

Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Di saat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan ku mohon maafkan aku

Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu

Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meskiku memohon dan meminta hadirmu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya untuk diriku



These photos were captured in a garden beneath oil palm trees, around an area of hot springs.

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