(1) Remember the purpose of this life, which is to worship Allah. There are two ways to worship Allah, and both are important: with specific rituals prescribed in the Quran and sunnah, and to be kind to all creation around us.
Marriage has never been a purpose of this life, although it is part of life. Allah has decreed who our life partner will be, and some of us are not meant to be married until the end. Hence we should serve our purpose by using what we have at the moment, rather than wait for the perfect circumstances.
(2) Specific worships
When we’re single, nobody is going to stop us from spending the whole day in the masjid. Nobody is going to keep us on our beds when we decided to wake up and pray tahajjud. We don’t need anyone’s permission to perform extra fasts. No one can stop us from doing charity work or spending extra time memorizing the Quran. Being happily single means we could perform any kinds of worship without anyone stopping us.
(3) Being nice to parents
When people are married, they need to divide their time between themselves, the children and the family of both sets of parents. Being single is the time to be extra nice to our parents. Isn’t it such a blessing that we get to be close to our keys to jannah without anyone stopping us from doing so?
It is also good to connect all family members, reconcile difference, resolve conflicts.
(4) Study the religion
There is just too many things to study with regards to Islam. The knowledge is endless, and the more we study, the more we’ll realize that we’ve just covered only a drop from the ocean.
To raise a good Muslim these days needs examplary parents. It is while being single that we should make all the effort to learn as much as possible about manners, theology, seerah of Prophet Muhammad, Islamic rules, rituals and so much more.
If we aim to have good, God-abiding children, then there are loads of preparation to do. Rather than lamenting the fact that we’re single, we should keep ourselves busy with making ourselves better people. Even if we’re not meant to get married, we will gain so much barakah from doing this for the sake of Allah.
(5) Being nice to others
As Muslims we believe that Allah is the best protector, in fact only He could protect us from any harm. Years ago I was worried about my own safety, being alone a lot of times. But have we not heard so many times about married couples and families who get harmed in robbery cases? The husbands are in the house yet harm still comes to them? I concluded that only Allah could protect me, and I made prayers for protection too.
What does this have to do with being nice to others?
When we are kind to others, Allah will be kind to us. If we take care of others, Allah will definitely take care of us. Even if harm comes our way, help will be given in the most unexpected manner. It doesn’t matter whether people appreciates us but for sure Allah does.
In the course of my job, I have seen single ladies at the end of their lives, but there were always people looking after them. The usual reason given was “she was always kind to us, and this is how we pay her back.”
But seriously, even if no other people intended to repay their kindness, Allah will make everything easy for them, out of His Mercy.
(6) Take a good care of your health
The healthier we are, the happier we’d feel. This is the time to figure out the best nutritious food that is suitable to our taste and the best exercise regime. If you’re overweight, you could do with losing some weight even if you believe it is not the looks that matter.
Losing weight is not about becoming more beautiful, although it is the “side effect”. Losing weight is about being healthy. We’d want to start our married life with a good health, with a hope that our pregnancies will be easy and we will have the energy to raise our kids.
Good health will give us a glow that cannot be achieved by any amount of cosmetics, trust me. So just get up and get healthy!
(7) Read, and travel
Going out and getting to know the world we’re living is one the most satisfying things that we could ever do. Don’t ever travel to shop. Don’t travel just to put up nice photos on instagram.
Travel to gain more understanding of people and nature. Traveling broadens your mind, changes your perspectives and will make you a more interesting person.
If you can’t afford to, then at least read. Read anything – fictions, non-fictions, magazines, books. Reading will bring us to even more places that we can’t get to. It will sharpen our minds and encourage us to learn more.
Oh, and please don’t tell me that you’re not travelling because you want to “wait for a husband”. Reality check number one: not all husbands have the money to bring you for holidays. Number two: some husbands are workaholics or study-holics that all they think about is work, and studying. You’ll never travel with men like this. Number three: for some men, all they want to do is stay at home to play games or watch movies and that’s it. Number four: you don’t know when that knight of shining armor is going to come along so you might as well go out and see the world. Number five: travelling with kids? Seriously? Ok, it can be done but why wait until the day you have to bring strollers and tons of diapers and clothes and medications?
. . .
So you see, there are many things to do while you’re single, there’s definitely no time to lament about the lack of partner. Too many people need our love and attention, especially, and I have to stress this, OUR PARENTS. We show them a little more love and they will insyaaAllah show us even more love than we could ever imagine. That is more than enough for the time being.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask for a spouse. We should pray hard that Allah will open our eyes and hearts to all the possibilites out there. Believing in Allah’s plans means that we will not be desperate for human attention. It means we will not go over the line to get a partner.
Of course, the happiness of having a partner is different from being happy for other reasons. Allah has decreed everything and He is the best planner. Our responsibility is to make the best out of what we have at this moment in time.
As a Muslim, I believe we are accountable for everything that Allah has given us – our parents, siblings, free time, health, knowledge and money. We are not responsible for the husband that we never met, the children that we never bear. So don’t wait for a life partner to start living your lives as a Muslim should, EVERY SINGLE MINUTE matters in our quest for Allah’s blessings.