There are three things that I wanted most in this life.

Within 18 hours of this day, it has proven that none of them is getting nearer, and tonight, two of them seem to be getting further away from being a reality.
* * *

It was just yesterday evening that a thought came to my mind. I thought, perhaps I do not understand the meaning of hope and prayers with regards to making du’a to Allah SWT. Well, actually I do understand some things, but when I ponder upon it, I guess it was all too superficial.

We know Allah is the Owner of everything in this universe. He is so Rich, we could ask just about anything from Him. He is so Merciful, that He would grant everything that we ask for. Of course, in His own terms that He deemed best for us:

(1) Right away
(2) Later when we’re ready
(3) In exchange with something else better for us, which includes a place in heaven instead of hell, simply for believing in Him, having such a faith to have prayed towards Him. Yes.

While we pray to Allah for many things; wealth, safety, a great life partner, healthy children, a good job, nice boss, good business, to pass exams, for our parents’ health, it all seem so…..dunia. Worldly. Temporary.

I’m speaking about myself. I think I pray too much about what I wanted in a short term, rather than in the distant, more important future, which is the hereafter. Those three things I wanted not only consume my mind when I pray, they consume my energy throughout the day.

But somehow the largest issue, the reason for my existence, the end result of everything that I do in this life, gets side-tracked. It occupies a slightly smaller part of the du’a.

Yes, we know we can ask Allah SWT for anything at all. He could move mountains and stars and planets, why can’t He move hearts? Of course He could! Although, shouldn’t our main prayer, main wish, main NEED, be His blessings, so that we could get into His Jannah? Shouldn’t it be our aim, no matter what happens in this life?

We asked for this and that to make this life perfect, when the actual aim is, no matter what happens, the most important thing is that we get His Mercy and Blessings, so that we could enter His paradise, forever and ever.

No matter if we don’t pass our exams, no matter if we couldn’t get that person as our life partner, no matter if we weren’t millionaires in this life, no matter if we’re only blessed with two kids because we got married late and had too many pregnancy complications, no matter if our children do not win best student award every year.

As long as we become better people in His views, as long as we could overcome all the obstacles in life with patience, as long as we could survive all of life’s challenges with strength and grace, the way He taught us to, as long as He blesses us with His Mercy and Compassion, that should be good enough.

No, I’m not saying that it’s wrong to ask for all those worldly things. He could grant us anything, seriously.
But we need to remember our main purpose in this life, as that is the only sure way to eternal happiness.

* * *
You were right, my dear. I don’t care about it.

I just care more about you than you ever knew.