Two months back I was unwell, unwell for longer than I ever have been. I recovered after almost two weeks, but it took me almost one month to be back to my usual self.

I came back to work after almost two weeks of a planned holiday (which coincided with the illness), taking care of patients who had similar illness.

I was taken aback at the amount of worry we had for them. Well, I always knew that most people recover well even though they had problems during the illness, and I always knew that we always worry about this group of patients, because anything bad could happen anytime.

But the fact that I let myself take care of my own health, with nobody actually monitoring, just judging from what I felt, when we worried about others so much more, stunned me for a while.

I could have died.

Something could have happened quickly somewhere far from the hospital and I could have deteriorated rapidly.

But I did not.

My energy came back, and my appetite much later.
I could smile and laugh and play with the kids, big or small.
I could wake up at wee hours of the morning to travel.

I could go to work just to realise how lucky I was to be alive.

How it’s not meant for me to leave this world yet.

Why? Why am I still alive?
* * *

We were taught to see the good behind everything that happened to us, and I work in a field where this question keeps on being asked. Asked again and again and again.

We still have people we could serve, or should.

Or there are people waiting to help us, if we end up surviving in a worse state than we were before.

We still have to pay back some people, not just some money, but gratitude for the things they have done for us all this while.

People still love us and we have to love them back, even more than we ever did before.

It shows that there is still so much that we need to contribute in this life. Make others happy, help the needy, give more warm hugs and smile.

It makes us think where should we spend our robust energy, to the good of others, or just to have more fun in the name of “living life to the fullest”?

There are people we need to seek forgiveness from, and it’s not too late for the moment.

There are people we really need to care for.

It makes us realise, who is it around us that truly care for us, worried about us when we’re unwell, do anything they could even when they themselves have limited resources.

Those people who gave us warm hugs when we really need it.

I’m still alive because there are so many of those wonderful people who made it possible for me to go through this life, and I need to give them back what they deserve, every single day.

I survived so that I could understand.
* * *

Obviously, I would not have survived without His Grace and Mercy.
Or the outcome would have been worse. But even if the outcome have been worse, I’d still have the above reasons to go on with.

What is this purpose of life?
To worship Allah in our entirety.

How do we do that?
By submitting to His orders, and to be kind to people around us, as much as possible.
For worship has two components – self, and social.

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