Written on 1st September 2013 at 0117hrs

Thank you for the friendship. 

Yes, you, you, and you.


You picked me up when I was at my lowest.


We used to spend so much time together. Trying to understand something so senseless. 


You’re the companion throughout this difficult journey. To learn, to work, to live healthy.


Your smile brighten my nights, and day.


We shopped, we cooked, we laughed and even cry.



We argued, yes, of course. 


We travelled east, south, north.


We enjoy some small luxuries of life. All worth the wait and the money.


We swam with the fishes, amongst the corals.


We walked on the sandy beaches, feeling the cool sea breeze.


We drove, in the wee hours of the morning, late at night.


We watched the sun rise, again and again.


We had the same dreams when we were younger. Even when we have not met each other.

We achieved some. Shared some. Which meant more.


Our games of squasy. Those days when smashing balls on hard walls meant much more than just “exercise”. When nobody could understand our lack of competetiveness. 

No, we didn’t play to compete. 


Your love for sambal even when you can’t stand them. 


You, when you came I knew you were trouble. 


Those days when we used to come up after clinic and help the rest of them. 


Or were we just making excuses?


Those days when we spoke about our dreams, up to that awkward moment when we realized that we’re not going to achieve those dreams together.


You, who gets moody when you’re on call. I used to laugh, it’s not my problem, anyway. 


You, who wanted to quit your job every once a month.


You, who wondered why you’re here at the first place.

Don’t we all?


You, who listened to all my crazy stories, my obsession. All of it. For years. It’s over the moment you left. 

It’s all over.


You, who have gone through the journey I’m going through now. Different roads, same destination.


You, who knows when to say no. And you say “no” very quickly, as if you knew I was going to ask.

Such integrity. 


You, whose eyes are keen. Sensitive. 


Our first fight. You apologized. 


Those moments in the car together. With you, you and you too.


My lunch partner. My dinner partners.


Partners to go for all those talks. Imam Suhaib Webb. BeingME convention.

No, we don’t have all weekends to spend for all those. But we tried.


We cried watching Junior Masterchef Australia. Every single episode. Without fail.


Remember our Abang Michael Smith? Who accompanied our iftar almost everyday. 


We could talk and complete each other’s sentences. Accurately.


You and your durian theory. 


Your perfect English, when you speak it’s so beautiful.


My shopping partner. We have such different taste. 


Smile like the sun.


We walked through the rain.


My teacher.


You and your tempe, jam tarts and rice for sahur.


There’re so many recipes we have not tried.

There’re so many places we have not visited.

There are so many things that I want to talk to you about.


* * *


Truth is, words can’t describe how much I appreciate having you around.

How much I’m missing all of you.


We may meet again some other time.


* * *

Kau ada dikala ku suka, dikala ku duka, setiap tangisan dan juga ketawa

Kau ada dikala ku perlu, setia menemaniku

Pegang erat tanganku bila aku jatuh


Kaulah yang selalu

Selalu menemaniku

Mendengar kisah pahit manis hidupku


Kaulah yang di situ, setia menunggu ku

Kaulah yang satu menjadi sahabatku


Kau ada di kala ku jatuh, setiap bangunku

Terus menemaniku tanpa rasa jemu

Kau ada di setiap tawa, di kala bahagia

Kau menjadi sahabatku selamanya


Ku tahu ku kan selalu ada

Ada dirimu

Dan ku harap kau juga rasa begitu


* * *


How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace

When I stand here taking every breath with you

You’re the only one who really knew me at all


How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave

Coz we share the laughter and the pain

And even shared our tears

You’re the only one who really knew me at all


Take a look at me now, there’s just an empty space

There’s nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face


So take a look at me now, there’s just an empty space

And you coming back to me is against the odds, and that’s what I’ve got to face


I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There’s so much I need to say to you

So many reasons why 

You’re the only one who really knew me at all


Take a look at me now, there’s just an empty space

And to wait for you is all I can do, and that’s what I’ve got to face