I was talking to a friend the other day; well, I’ve been talking to a few friends recently, about a search for true love (I could see some of you smirking there…), about a search for a life partner.
Just for a second there..I do believe there is true love. Thing is, I also believe that it doesn’t happen to everyone.
True love and “meant-to-be-ness” is as mysterious as death itself. Nobody would ever know what lies in front of them, what will happen in the future; distant or near.
Questions upon questions would be asked, but no one could give an answer.
How do we know he’s the one?
How do we know he’s never going to betray us?
How do we know he’s going to be a responsible person but at the same time fun to be with? Is he only responsible and nice but boring, or is he all fun but nothing else?
How do we know whether he’s going to be our best friend, or is he going to plays ranks saying “I’m the man and you’re the wife”? Not even “MY wife”?
How do we know whether it’s the similarities or the differences that will actually make the bond stronger?
Is there such a thing as two people who are too similar that they just can’t live with each other?
What do we want out of a relationship, a marriage?
Maybe one of the reasons marriages fall apart is because there’s just no common ground about the reasons and focus of the relationship itself.
Enough to make a person scared to take the next step?
Even more frightening when one has gone through some pretty bad experience, isn’t it?
Working for people at the end of life made it evident that there are single people who are not lonely on their death bed, and there are married people with kids but ends up left alone when they are dying…”Is marriage really worth all the heart ache?” one wonders.
Really, what do we want out of marriage?
Someone to love, to care, to cherish until death do us part?
Being best friends, companions, soul mates?
Someone to help out with the house chores? Or our parents’ house chores? Really?
Emm…just for fun?
How do we know?
We’ll never know.
Well, being afraid to love means that most likely we’re not going to be loved back.
Take the risk, follow our hearts and maybe someday, someone out there will love us back, and maybe it will be worth all the while.
. . .
A little bit on marriage in Islam, and what I believe.
Islam strongly forbids sex outside marriage, and forbids us from getting even close to that.
Marriage serves as a means to emotional and physical gratification.
Marriage is a solemn agreement that should not be taken lightly, entered into with total commitment. There are many specific guidance, rules and law, so that nobody in the marriage should oppress the other, or in simpler term, “bully”.
That adds to another question, “does the man/woman one chooses actually understands Islam, or does he/she goes by the routines too blindly without understanding the meaning of it all?” That is, I think, the biggest question of all.
We believe that Allah SWT is The One who knows of all the heart’s contents. Only He knows the unseen, as stated in this verse in the Quran:
“And with Him are the keys of Unseen, none know them but He. And He knows whatever is there in the earth and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but by His knowledge; there is not a grain in the darkness (or the depth) of the earth, nor any flesh or dry (green or withered) but is written in a Clear Record.” [Surah al-An’aam (6): 59]
We are encouraged to seek guidance from Him, not only in matters of the heart but also in other life decisions too.
I would like to share this quote I found online (islamicthinking.tumblr.com):
“The best love story for a Muslim is finding another Muslim who makes their Iman rise, makes them want to gain knowledge and become more pious. What is more blessed than that?”