Written on 20th January 2011 @ 1254hrs

I was reading my photography book just now, and I thought, ‘if only I could read my medical books with this kind of focus, I’d have been an excellent student. Maybe I would’ve gone quite far into my revision.’

After that, I think again. ‘Wait, I’ve just read FOUR pages of this book and I’m getting restless already. Maybe I DO read it with the same focus I had with my medical books – which is, almost NONE!’

I just can’t focus!!

It really disturbed me the other day. I wanted to read up the whole topic on HIV, and I couldn’t get myself past one page. Then I turned to my MCQ practice, I could sit down for almost two hours answering questions upon questions…

I don’t know what to do.

I need the knowledge to be able to talk about things. Answering MCQs, well, I could learn the pattern of questions and clinical scenarios, and do pretty well after a hundred questions or so.

But I can’t present!

Dr Richard was explaining to the nurses about glioblastoma multiforme the other day, in simple language, and I wondered when am I ever going to be able to talk like that???

Yes, I need to practice.
But I need to KNOW my stuff first.
To know stuff, I need to read.
To read, I need focus.
But I don’t have focus!!

So how now…