Written on 5th January 2011 @ 0108hrs
Hmmm….how shall I put this….
Well, let’s do it like this.
Recently I had the ‘opportunity’ to see how a man freaks out when a woman cries in front of him. He started thinking harder, his face became more red, he started offering and suggesting ways to solve her problems; but she kept on crying. So he reached for the tissue instead.
Actually the lady has already had a plan in mind. It’s just that she had to cry first.
Which brings me to the question:
“Why do men freak out when women cry?”
I still couldn’t understand it. Not all men freak out and not all women are cry babies, but I have met a few men who showed that they really really don’t know what to do.
Personally, for me it’s just a way to let go. Crying may not be caused by big things or major issues. Seriously. However some men think that when women cry, there must be something seriously wrong.
Well, I can’t blame them.
It’s not easy for them to put themselves in our shoes.
It’s very difficult to find a reason that can make a man cry. It’s always the obvious, like death of his loved ones. And I can’t find any other reason. Oh, and severe pain. Doing what I do, I see men cry quite often. For both reasons.
For a woman to cry?
Well, she cries when she’s sad. Even when she couldn’t get leave for her cousin’s wedding.
She cries when her heart is touched.
She cries when she’s angry.
She cries when she’s happy.
She cries during weddings, funerals, childbirth (be it her own or anyone else), graduation day, first day of school, watching Hindi movies (MUST cry)…..and the list goes on and on and on….
Sometimes it’s so tempting to say, “Chill, guys, she’s JUST crying.” Well, I did say that to someone, he wouldn’t believe me when I said that there’s nothing too serious going on.
When we were young, as siblings, we’d fight A LOT. We fought most of the time. And one of us, or all of us, would end up crying. My dad used to hate it. My mom, on the other hand, said that it’s OK to cry. After crying, all hurt will be gone and the heart would feel better.
My mother was right, of course.
Sometimes when a woman cries, all she needs is a hug. Hold her hand. Then all will be alright. She’ll be able to think more clearly and things will settle down. Well, most of the time.
When a woman cries, she needs someone to give an ear and listen. Intently.
I think guys shouldn’t worry too much when their girls cry. Hugging and listening will make all the difference. It’s not too difficult, isn’t it? 😉
* * *
On another note, somehow my boss is quite good at these things. Doing what he does, I guess he learns a lot from his experience and communication skills picked up over the years. Although he’d blow things up a bit (“don’t disturb her, she’s very distressed”), he doesn’t freak out. He’d just listen to you and let you cry until you’re done, then he’ll give you some time, and then he’ll ask you what you think you might want to do.
Maybe all guys should try that too