Monday, October 11th 2010. 1815hrs.
“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
A wedding day is a happy day, a day to celebrate the love of two people. A day to wish and to pray that the couple would live happily ever after. To hope that both of them will have a good fulfilling life together.
Sadly I found that there is this ugly habit of people who love to give distasteful comments about other people’s weddings. There’s this group of people who go around and find faults at every weddings and every person attending the weddings. I’m sure you know that I’m not making this up, everyone has met with these kind of people.
I don’t understand.
It just irks me to listen to all these comments, ranging from the unsightly make-ups, bride not pretty enough, groom not tall/manly enough, poor food preparation, food not delicious, bride’s parents too snobbish, groom’s parents being rude, location too hot/unsuitable, and worst of all, to question the choice of life partner that a bride or a groom has made.
I mean, how can you say things like that?
Number one, they have made their choice of make-up artist (or mak andam), photographers, wedding dresses and suits, food and location. Whatever you say can’t change any of it.
Number two, that married person has made his/her choice of a life partner. Who are we to question that?
Number three, there’s just so much to think of before one’s wedding day that some of these things are just overlooked.
I mean, if you really really are concerned about these people, you should have adviced them on what they should do, what kind of dress they should wear, food they should choose….and the most difficult of all, to be able to tell them that “I don’t think this man is good for you.”
Ever happened to any of you?
People telling you AFTER you’re married, “know what, they’ve been saying that you deserve a better man. A man like him doesn’t deserve a nice lady like you,” ?
People telling you AFTER your marriage that “he’s such a snobbish man and you’re just lovely. Lucky I didn’t marry him last time.”
I guess that’s how they came up with “Speak now or FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.”
It’s too late once the person is married.
* * *
Let me tell you how ugly it could get. I mean, a lot worse than “I think your dress is a little too big for you.”
There’s this groom’s dad who found fault with EVERYTHING in the arrangements of the bride’s family.
First he was insulted when the bride called up her groom, asking where he was because he’s one hour late.
The dad’s groom was also angry because he did not get to sit beside his son during the solemnisation ceremony.
Then the groom and his dad were both insulted when the bride’s uncle made a joke that he probably could not accept or forgive.
Then they were upset that there’s no special seat for the family in an open sitting kind of wedding.
Then the groom’s dad was angry because he didn’t get to merenjis BEFORE the bride’s dad!!
What did the groom’s father do?
Well, he taunted the daughter-in-law about all the above for almost TWO years.
I mean, doesn’t he know that most likely those are just some overlooked issues?
Shouldn’t people just forgive each other for such small matters?
There’s another story of how ugly things can be.
Two brothers got married on the SAME day. However brother A is more creative than brother B. So brother A decorated his room more beautifully than brother B.
Then came the wives. Wife B was so jealous with wife A because wife A’s room is better decorated. And she’s been finding faults with the other since. When the children grew up, the cousins don’t even talk to each other.
* * *
You may think that it’s over-dramatisation but guess what, these things really happened.
I won’t say that I’m an angel or anything, I’m not the nicest human being on earth, but it’s just that some things should be left unsaid. There ARE weddings that are overdone, too much money spent unnecessarily. Of course there are things I don’t agree with some weddings and I wouldn’t do it for my own wedding, but is there any point of talking behind these people’s back? It’s not nice to hear all these bad words when all we should do is pray for the happiness of the couple.
Again, a wedding day is a happy day. I remember going to my best friends’ wedding and all we had in our minds were that we were very happy for the couple, and we wish that they will be happy forever. It doesn’t matter what they wear, it doesn’t matter what food they serve, it doesn’t matter if the bride didn’t smile, it doesn’t matter if the mother didn’t dress up. What matters most is all of us are happy and that the blissful marriage will last forever.
* * *
Really, if I ever get married, I will only invite close family members and very close friends, who wouldn’t mind coming from far away just to celebrate the day with me. And a good photographer. NOT a make-up artist because my aunts and sister could do it for me.
I don’t need all these people who will say bad things about me, my (choice of) husband and my family, and not praying for me or wishing us well. Seriously.
* * *
Selamat pengantin baru
Selamat ke anak cucu
Semoga satu tujuan
Hidup mestilah kukuh
Sabar paling perlu
Cinta setiap hari
Senyum mesti selalu
“Selamat Pengantin Baru” by Saloma