My dear,

Life has its ups and downs. Couples who are happily married for over 20 years do not get there without any trials along their marriages. People who seem happy may not be so, and those who might seem unhappy may actually be the ones who are contented. Please try to be less judgemental, or even better, not at all. Being analytical is not an excuse to being judgemental. Pain and suffering do not occur just because one is sinful. Anyway, we all are sinful.

Those who thought marriage is easy just because they have been a nice person all their lives are misled. But it’s not all the time difficult. Patience is a valuable virtue in a marriage, my darling. And so are strength and courage, and maturity. It’s just that people don’t mention those often.

What did these happy couples not face, anyway?


Job loss

Car accident or theft


The devastating death of a child

A child who’s always ill

Pregnancy and child birth

Adulterous family members

Financial crisis

Climbing up the work ladder

Nosy in-laws

Nosy bosses

Cancer and illnesses

Exam success and failures

Loss of limb

Long distance love

Long distance love affair

Changing jobs

Ill family members

Children in school, in college, at work

Nosy neighbours

Cheating friends

Unsuccessful business ventures

Fights – husband and wife, siblings

My darling,

All of us would need courage along the way. We’d need loyalty towards each other. To stay with each other no matter what the other is facing. I know it’s not your fault, but since when has it been mine? Things will not always fall into place. You will not have everything your way, just because you think you’ve followed all the rules. But really, have you?

Things WILL go wrong, at the wrong place, and the wrong time. So, what if they do? Shall we be frustrated? Or shall we face it all with all our hearts and minds?

My dear,

If you really need to run away because you can’t face my problems, then go away. If you don’t have courage you’d better not come near me as you’ll need to have strength and a heart of a lion, to be with me, to go through what I’m going through. If you don’t have a heart of a lion, please leave me alone, as you’ll only add to my problems. If you think you don’t like a life full of trials, or some would describe as problems, please don’t even attempt to come near, as you won’t like it with me.

Or maybe, my dear, you just don’t need to attempt to be alive, as there will be no meaning without the downs and the thorns and the troughs.