I started writing blogs when I was in medical school, when I was back here in Penang, I think. Or during the last year I was in Dublin. Surprisingly I can’t remember when. And even why.

(OK, now I’ve checked my previous blog site – I started writing when I was in Penang, August 2005. I wrote about my clinic follow up with Dato’ Razak, I wrote about my grandmother’s death too. But I still can’t recall why I decided to start writing at the first place)

I restarted writing just only recently. Actually I always have something to write about. So much that it fills my mind and it would play on and on and on until I do something about it. For the past two years I’ve wrote only on a few topics, even then I had to be very careful with my words. I can’t simply write whatever I wanted.

However a few months ago something happened, and I decided to write again. The motivation? I have mentioned before that I wanted to get back at some people, in the most subtle way that I could think of. But then again, when I read those notes back, I realised that even without all these things happening, without having seen so much before my eyes, my opinion about certain matter would be just the same – it’s just more enhanced now.

Those are what I wrote about initially, I mean, when I restarted writing. About raising kids, about being over-protective, about my feeling sad and angry and how do I handle things in different ways.

Then I noticed there were good response to what I wrote. Maybe it did appear sarcastic, maybe it did not, but thing is, I said it right from the bottom of my heart. I got that lesson for writing from Enid Blyton’s famous St Clare’s series. One of the characters in the book said that when you write, you should write from the bottom of your heart. A pure, honest, sincere product of your soul.

Still, I had so much to write about but no time to do it. I put off doing things. I thought I wouldn’t be able to properly sit down and feel and write. Until one day.

I met someone…maybe I should stop right there. I read his blogs. The contents – some of them did not interest me much. Some of them do. But what strikes me is the style of his blogs – he’s deeply involved in whatever he was doing at that point of time, his emotions poured onto every single letter of his words, you could feel him running like a little boy with a kite when he’s excited, red with anger when he’s mad, his face bright and shining when he smiles at his friends and family, his sweet passionate voice when he sings, and most importantly, his love for all those around him. His personality shines through the written words.

Another striking feature is the way he’d wake up in the middle of the night, all groggy and sleepy, just to write about the happy and excited conversation he had with his friend two minutes ago.

And I’m saying I have no time? Talk about passion, well, this is passion. You do what you need to do when you need to do it.

So I write. I write and write and write. I know I don’t have such great vocab like my brother does. I don’t lash out anger and passion all at the same time like my cousin does. I just write. Whatever’s in my mind, or heart, most of the time.

This month itself I’ve written 10 notes in Facebook!! Haha…

Another obvious thing in his blog is the way he appreciates his followers, took the effort to thank each and everyone of them for commenting on his blogs, sent them postcards, met up with them when he’s back home…really, really full of love.

Well, I know I’m almost a total opposite of this person. I do appreciate very much that you have all been reading my ramblings which at times could sound a bit depressing, or even worse, preachy. I do love the fact that it’s more interactive in Facebook – at least some of those who read would comment in there. Some would meet up with me and ask, “what is it actually about?” My dad was so happy that this Eid he showed them off to all his brothers and sisters. He even sent some of those to his friends.

My dear friends and family members,

I do, from the bottom of my heart, love you for listening to me. It meant so much to me, gave me the motivation to keep on writing. I feel appreciated and welcomed. Thank you very much, whoever and wherever you are. Maybe I do not say it out loud that often, but do remember this whenever you read my ramblings – I love you for doing just that.

Thank you. Again.

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